I realized today that I have become a football widow. No, this does not mean I lost my husband due to some unspeakable freak football injury (thank goodness). Nor does it mean that my husband belongs to a football team that travels all over, leaving me alone more often than not.
No, what I've got is even sadder than those circumstances, mostly since I suspect I am not the only one out there living in these conditions. My husband is a die-hard, swear-at-the-TV, read-the-sports-pages-online-till-his-eyeballs-hurt Chicago Bears fan. In short, he's an FBA (football addict), or you could even go so far as to call him a BFGW (Bears Fan Gone Wrong). The man can't remember where we store key household items but he can tell you the scores, players, plays, yards rushing, whatever the hell that means - about games played 20 years ago.
He's the most even-keeled, reasonable, levelheaded person I know except when the damn Bears don't run the ball and they don't give it to Hester (last year it was Benson). I don't know these people's names from their accomplishments or contributions toward the team. I know their names because Bryon so often supplies them for me from yelling at them what to do.
You would think that the Bears winning a game would put him in a happy mood, and for the first Bears season that I knew him it did seem to be like that. Then the next season I noticed the "yeah-buts" started. For those of you who don't speak game-ese, a yeah-but means "Yeah, they won the game, but they played sloppy" or "Yeah, they got the touchdown, but they're playing not to lose, they're not playing to win ". Well, OK....but did they win? "Yeah, but...". You get the idea. So now I can't even guarantee anymore that Bears win = Bryon good mood. Now it has to be that they win AND play flawlessly. And considering what a rough start their season has gotten off to, my hopes of having a cheerful Sunday dinner with my husband are slowly fading away.
And just a note of warning to those of you football widows who don't know the game rules or anything about the players: don't even dare ask a question unless you own Tivo, and even then I would be careful. Sometimes the FBA's are in the mood to explain something, but that can go in two equally dangerous but different directions. Sometimes a simple football question can turn into a 20-minute spin into why they lost a game in 1986 for the exact same reason. Or you get a snappy, how-could-you-not-know-that answer: "No, Grossman is not playing this week. He hasn't played for three weeks and I tell you that every week - he's done!". Right...sorry about that, honey. Must have slipped my mind.
C'mon, Bears. Help me out - please start playing better so I can have my husband back! Any support groups for this out there??
P.S. Check out the wristbands. They crack me up but I admit I do love 'em. At least he's nothing if not loyal!!
Sunday, October 14, 2007
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1 comment:
You think you dread Sundays in the Fall? I am married to a man who likes the Chicago Cubs. I thought baseball was mainly played in the summer. It seems that we have a new season called Endless.
PS Love the photo. Great post!
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