Welcome back Kotter

Well, sorry it's been so long, for those few of you who actually check my blog from time to time :). It's been a crazy whirlwind these last two and a half months. I went straight from getting a new job to getting married to training for the new job to the honeymoon to losing the new job. Sigh. I know it is all for the best, I was not happy with the new job in the least, but the old bruised ego is now recovering from not one but two job losses in a 4-month period. Not exactly feeling on top of my game these days, but I guess some periods in life are like that. I'm just such a control freak that I actually disillusion myself into thinking I should always be on top of everything.

The only good thing that's cropping up from losing the job is that I am finally allowing myself to do things that make me happy, not just money. The money with Dynavox would have been terrific but is it worth crying every day from stress? I, along with my husband Bryon, can assure you it is not. So I've been writing more often these days and it's starting to make me feel a lot better. It's something I have always been good at but always told myself it wasn't a practical job. Now I don't care anymore, I just want to be happy and the bills will get paid somehow.

So I joined a children's literature writing program where I will get mentored through a publication process to have both a magazine and a book publication at the end. I'm really excited about it; I submitted a test sample to this group about 3 years ago and they've been bugging me ever since to do their program. I guess they liked my sample...I wrote a true story called "Pest Control". For those of you who know me I think you know the story but the basic gist is when I was about 9 or 10 years old my mom got mad at me for hurting my little brother by accident and she called me a pest. I went through the whole school day with the word "pest" echoing through my head only to come home to find a "Pest Control" car in the driveway, which sent me running into the house promising that I would never be a pest again.

I'm also applying for jobs other than straightforward sales or teaching. One position in particular is for Planned Parenthood; they need a Teen Pregnancy Program Manager and I would love to be it. They closed the app process on Sunday and I haven't heard anything after submitting a resume and cover letter, so we'll see. I also decided to join the LA Unified School District sub list - their day rate is excellent and it would be a great way to get some teaching time (and money, ha ha) without dealing with the bureaucracy of meetings, etc. I've applied to various other positions as well, like a trade show coordinator, and an infant behavioral specialist, but after my horrible experience with Dynavox, I'm trying to be a little pickier about what I take.

The job I really want is motherhood, but Bryon's trying his best to fight me off with the stick of reason. And I know he's right. But my poor body is just screaming for it. And while I am so joyful to see all my friends and family start to have babies (the amount of people that I know who have given birth or who are about to give birth this year is just too long to list), it is getting harder and harder to see it happening all around me and still have to wait. I feel like I have been waiting forever! Having a baby is something I have wanted since I was a child, so every month now feels like a struggle. We'll see how long Bryon can fight me off :).

Thanks for reading! :) I'll try to be better about posting on a regular basis.