Quote of My Life

"I'm not tense; I'm just terribly, terribly alert"

Updates & Random Thoughts

Well, good old Malibu's on fire again - 35 homes destroyed since 3:30 AM. Lap of luxury, huh? I'm no longer as envious as I used to be of people who live there - options for driving in and out of the area are limited anyway, and apparently Mother Nature is trying to tell us something about the area.

Moving on...I don't mean to brush that off; I know it's serious and people are once again losing homes, but I am not aiming to be CNN here so I will stop reporting on it. You guys know how to find the news...

Anyhoo. I've been so busy with the new job that I haven't really devoted much time to writing. The job is a lot of fun so far. In my old job, I was usually prospecting to mid- to low-end public schools all over California, and later, just the southern region. All I did was drive. School quality ran the gamut depending on the area and the district. I really don't blame people for the moods they were usually in when I had to call on them, having taught in a highly bureaucratic district myself. It was tough to keep spirits up when I was pushing in a clutch every 1/16 of a second in L.A. traffic for 8-10 hours a day. I was putting between 80-200 miles on my car on an almost daily basis.

With this job, I am prospecting mainly to high end private and independent schools. What a difference in how I am treated on a day-to-day basis! For the most part, I am greeted with friendly smiles when I stop by unannounced - turns out people love free food, especially when it is healthy and tasty :). I plan a small route in a concentrated area of 10-12 schools to drop samples to and I usually end up driving only 30-45 miles daily, if that. When I call to ask for someone on the phone, I am actually transferred to the person or their correct voicemail in under 5 minutes (this is nothing short of a miracle for sales). People are eager to hear about our program and if they're not, they're either polite about it or have referrals for people who might be. It's quite a difference! So far it's going very well and I hope it stays that way. If I've learned nothing else this year, it's that you need to be very happy with what you do every day or else every single thing feels like a struggle. I really was starting to give up hope that I could be one of those people that loved what they do!

Wake up and feed me!

Wow - a new post, finally! Sorry it's been so long, but starting a new job sure sucks the creative juices right outta ya. So far I am having a blast with it, but it sure is keeping me busy. I'll post more on the job later.

For now, please enjoy this example of a typical morning at our house...only instead of a baseball bat, Milo prefers to use a crowbar; it's easier for him to wield.

Curves Adjustment

OK, OK, I did not read carefully enough. I jumped up on my soapbox a little too quickly.

It IS true that the owner and founder of Curves gives money to anti-choice charities, some of which are described as militant. But apparently it can't be shown that the money comes directly from Curves as a company itself, only that Gary Heavin (the owner and founder of Curves) as a private citizen donates large amounts of money to anti-choice organizations.

Harumph. I guess that makes me feel a little better; I'm glad my money isn't necessarily going directly to anti-choice groups, and everyone is entitled to their own opinion about things. But in my heart of hearts, I have to admit that anyone who isn't pro-choice sort of bothers me on a fundamental level (heh heh pardon the pun!). I've known people who are pro-choice who don't believe in abortion. That's fine - what that bothers me is people who believe that OTHERS don't have a right to choose for themselves. Especially men making those choices for and/or about women.

Besides, Hip-Hop Abs and Yoga Booty Ballet are much more fun to do and I can exercise in the comfort and safety of my own home :). I think I'm going to cancel the subscription anyway!

Curves Not Supported

Last year I joined Curves for Women on the advice of a friend who said she loved it. At first it was great, I loved the workouts, the price was not bad, and everyone there was very nice and extremely supportive. I got myself into a decent routine of working out. It felt great to go work out without having to wait in line or be ogled by assholes.

I got a little bored with the routine after a while though and sort of fell out of it. My subscription renewal just happens to be coming up in a few days, and truthfully I probably wasn't going to renew anyway for a variety of irrelevant reasons.

Well, that decision is sealed shut as of today. I found out that Curves donates 10% of its annual profits to anti-choice groups! I stumbled upon this fact at Snopes. com, a great website for checking urban legends and the validity of any annoying emails that lecture you to forward it or else someone's daughter will die of cancer or some such horror.

Anyway. If I could display a jaw dropping, I would. I was appalled and honked to discover this little nugget. I am extremely pro-choice. This does not mean I am anti-child (have you read my other posts about being baby-hungry?). It means I am pro-make-your-own-decisions-about-your-own-body and that I am generally against the birth of unwanted babies who don't have responsible enough parents to care for them. Unwanted babies often end up being the people we shake our heads over when we read about how they blew up an office building or shot kids at school.

As usual, I digress. The part that really pisses me off is that Curves is supposed to be all about women's health and taking care of their bodies properly...meanwhile the founder and owner is giving 10% of the money WE give him to groups that will likely scream at us if we step near a Planned Parenthood for whatever reason, be it for a Pap smear or a check up or even just for birth control. These anti-choice groups have the mistaken impression that Planned Parenthood and other women's health care groups are just abortion-providers - they are not. They are about women's health care. Isn't Curves supposed to be about women's health care?

This is partly why I've posted Emily X's blog in my margin; each day there is a different story about someone who works with PP and how protestors make it hard for patients to get the health care they need. Please click on it if you have a minute to hear/read some of the stories that these people go through every day just to show up to work.

BOO CURVES!! Tell your friends please....

Word of the Day

Myrmidon: A loyal follower, especially one who executes orders without question, protest, or pity. (Source: www.dictionary.com)

Ex: George W. Bush only managed to become president by having a wealth of nepotist myrmidons at his disposal.

Last Day of Freedom

Well, the freedom clock has finally run out. I've enjoyed every minute of it, but my 6 weeks of bumhood are coming to an end after this weekend. Time to....(drumroll, please)...go back to WORK!

It's a good thing, really, as paychecks tend to be a practical thing in life. But I am very good at being a bum, I found out. True, I get restless, and tend to climb the walls. And you know you're bored when the mail delivery is the excitement of your day. Aside from that, I did throw my heart into it. Sleep till noon? Easily! Wear my bathrobe till 6? Had it covered. I really wore my unemployment well.

And after such a whirlwind summer of getting married, going on a honeymoon, and briefly attempting to fit a new job in between (and failing, as I've mentioned before), I very badly needed the break and the sanity gathering. I officially changed my last name. I re-organized my files. I cleaned out closets, gave stuff away, and re-organized shelves. I scoured frightening corners of our apartment that hadn't seen a sponge in years. My brain decompressed and defragmented along with my hard drive(s).

But that all ends Monday as I start my new job with Brown Bag Naturals. It's a tiny start-up company that's already achieved some success without much trying, and we're all curious to see what happens with a smidge of effort. I'm hired to be their first sales rep, which is both exciting and a bit scary. However, they made a pretty good offer, both the owner and venture capitalist seem like great guys, and the whole concept really seems like a lot of fun. Their mission is to provide organic, preservative-free bag lunches for schools, offices, airlines, wherever, at $5 a lunch. Both guys have experience with successful start-ups (one helped start Burt's Bees), so knowing that they've done this before is reassuring and encouraging.

My favorite aspect is that they partner with several companies that just happen to keep me alive in terms of food: Stonyfield Farm, Annie's Homegrown, Amy's Kitchen, and Kashi. My daily diet basically consists of Stonyfield plain organic yogurt, Annie's pasta meal boxes, Amy's anything from soup to frozen dinners, and I live on Kashi TLC bars. Eating healthfully is a something I push on myself on a daily basis due to allergies, past health problems and a generally cranky immune system. I didn't always eat like this (my friends used to call me the Dorito Girl), but after a weird health issue called Candida, I had to learn to eat better or face even worse problems later. It took a lot of work and a horribly strict diet for awhile, but I finally managed to get rid of the problem and by going through it I have learned how to eat in a more balanced way. It's a cause I can't wait to push on children so they can grow up with healthy eating habits and naturally do better in school because of it, among other lifelong benefits.

So there I go. My first meeting is in Malibu at the owner's house on Monday morning. Fortunately his is still standing after the fires :). I wonder if I'll still need my dust mask ??

Bush Vists Southern CA

'Nuff said. I won't even start in on FEMA and the staged press conference; I just don't have the strength for that soapbox today.

Seussical The Musical

Since my older sister and I practically raised my younger brother, we've agreed that we have some bragging rights here: our 23-year-old brother who just graduated college last April, who just moved to New York City barely 6 weeks ago, has already landed an amazing part in "Seussical the Musical", a production run by Theatre Works USA. He's going to be the Cat in the Hat! He's been acting since he was 5 years old and he is extremely talented (and no, I am not just biased). This is a lifelong goal and dream realized for him. Woo-hoo Scotty/Squirt/Prescott!

The company does other children's productions as well such as "Charlotte's Web" and "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie..." (two personal favorite children's books of mine). Check out the website for the shows they have, click on the show and enter your ZIP code and it will let you know when/if the tour gets close to your area.

We are all so proud of you Prescott!!

The Hills of L.A. Are Burning

It's that lovely time of year here known as fire season. The weather dries out, warms up, and the Santa Ana winds blow everything all over the place. The humidity drops really low and there is a sort of electricity in the air that makes you feel like you could spontaneously combust at any moment. The humidity at this time of year is usually below 15%, which is why people might be surprised to know that despite our non-existent winters and warm weather, L.A. residents are actually some of the first in the country to drag out the good old humidifier. Apparently bodies, computers and wildbrush need to be between 30-55% humidity or things dry out and blow up. This is nothing new to residents here; we get these winds every year and along with them come the seasonal wildfires.

The fires are usually bad every year in some way or another, but every few years it gets really bad in L.A. County and it looks like 2007 might be one of those years. Parts of the Malibu Hills began burning last night; the fire spread across about 1200 acres and today at 4 PM the fire was still described as zero percent contained. Flames were reportedly jumping the Pacific Coast Highway, which obviously had to be shut down. The Malibu Presbyterian Church and the Kashan Castle both burned to the ground (the 2nd picture is the church). Pepperdine and many other areas of Malibu were evacuated last night and many residents of Malibu are still wandering around in bathrobes trying to figure out what to do and where to go. In the northern hills of the San Fernando Valley, along I-5, there are more than 10,000 acres on fire in Agua Dulce and Canyon Country. I feel rather fortunate right now to live on along the southern hills of the valley right now...

The thing that most people don't know about wildfires is that they are actually very good for enriching soil and they also help prevent the brush overgrowth that can actually lead to stronger and less easily controlled fires. There's a delicate balance here of needing enough rain not to be at risk for fire without having so much rain that things overgrow, because then there is just that much more fodder to burn during the next fire season.

It's a weird balance to try to understand, and I'm not 100% certain that it's compatible with human life in this area. Los Angeles is after all a desert and the main reason people can live here is only thanks to the Hoover Dam and the Colorado River. People have hoped for decades that Los Angeles would burn and my husband and I have lately been joking that as long as we're out of town, we're OK with that. Thanks for being out of town tonight without me, honey :).

At any rate, I really feel for the unfortunate people who have lost their homes or who are in danger of having their homes burn...how scary to watch that happen, or worse - to come "home" and your home isn't there anymore. I'm grateful to have sat on my lazy bum in my home all day today!

Quote for the Day

Coincidence is God's way of remaining anonymous.

-Albert Einstein

Children's Writing

I mentioned in one of my earlier blogs that I'm getting ready to begin children's literature writing program. The program is through the Institute of Children's Literature and they seem to have a very successful reputation. The program is done from home, and each student is paired with a published mentor writer for guidance and feedback throughout the whole process. There are different lessons/assignments that take you step by step through to publishing. Some authors were even able to sell stories before they had completed the course, but in any case all students have a published magazine and a published book piece by the end.


I've been putting off doing the course since Fall 2003...either I was too busy being stressed from teaching, or from sales, or from getting married - time does not stand around forever waiting for life to stop! I'm proud of myself for finally putting my foot through the door. I will eventually start posting some fictional writing samples on my blog but nothing is ready for anyone else's eyes! Or maybe my skin just isn't thick enough yet...:). Whatever the case, stay tuned if you're interested!

I Am the Moon

You are The Moon

Hope, expectation, Bright promises.

The Moon is a card of magic and mystery - when prominent you know that nothing is as it seems, particularly when it concerns relationships. All logic is thrown out the window.

The Moon is all about visions and illusions, madness, genius and poetry. This is a card that has to do with sleep, and so with both dreams and nightmares. It is a scary card in that it warns that there might be hidden enemies, tricks and falsehoods. But it should also be remembered that this is a card of great creativity, of powerful magic, primal feelings and intuition. You may be going through a time of emotional and mental trial; if you have any past mental problems, you must be vigilant in taking your medication but avoid drugs or alcohol, as abuse of either will cause them irreparable damage. This time however, can also result in great creativity, psychic powers, visions and insight. You can and should trust your intuition.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Check this out! It only takes a minute and it's fun. Thanks to my stepmom for posting it on her blog.

Why I'm Starting to Dread Sundays in Fall

I realized today that I have become a football widow. No, this does not mean I lost my husband due to some unspeakable freak football injury (thank goodness). Nor does it mean that my husband belongs to a football team that travels all over, leaving me alone more often than not.

No, what I've got is even sadder than those circumstances, mostly since I suspect I am not the only one out there living in these conditions. My husband is a die-hard, swear-at-the-TV, read-the-sports-pages-online-till-his-eyeballs-hurt Chicago Bears fan. In short, he's an FBA (football addict), or you could even go so far as to call him a BFGW (Bears Fan Gone Wrong). The man can't remember where we store key household items but he can tell you the scores, players, plays, yards rushing, whatever the hell that means - about games played 20 years ago.

He's the most even-keeled, reasonable, levelheaded person I know except when the damn Bears don't run the ball and they don't give it to Hester (last year it was Benson). I don't know these people's names from their accomplishments or contributions toward the team. I know their names because Bryon so often supplies them for me from yelling at them what to do.

You would think that the Bears winning a game would put him in a happy mood, and for the first Bears season that I knew him it did seem to be like that. Then the next season I noticed the "yeah-buts" started. For those of you who don't speak game-ese, a yeah-but means "Yeah, they won the game, but they played sloppy" or "Yeah, they got the touchdown, but they're playing not to lose, they're not playing to win ". Well, OK....but did they win? "Yeah, but...". You get the idea. So now I can't even guarantee anymore that Bears win = Bryon good mood. Now it has to be that they win AND play flawlessly. And considering what a rough start their season has gotten off to, my hopes of having a cheerful Sunday dinner with my husband are slowly fading away.

And just a note of warning to those of you football widows who don't know the game rules or anything about the players: don't even dare ask a question unless you own Tivo, and even then I would be careful. Sometimes the FBA's are in the mood to explain something, but that can go in two equally dangerous but different directions. Sometimes a simple football question can turn into a 20-minute spin into why they lost a game in 1986 for the exact same reason. Or you get a snappy, how-could-you-not-know-that answer: "No, Grossman is not playing this week. He hasn't played for three weeks and I tell you that every week - he's done!". Right...sorry about that, honey. Must have slipped my mind.

C'mon, Bears. Help me out - please start playing better so I can have my husband back! Any support groups for this out there??

P.S. Check out the wristbands. They crack me up but I admit I do love 'em. At least he's nothing if not loyal!!

Welcome back Kotter

Well, sorry it's been so long, for those few of you who actually check my blog from time to time :). It's been a crazy whirlwind these last two and a half months. I went straight from getting a new job to getting married to training for the new job to the honeymoon to losing the new job. Sigh. I know it is all for the best, I was not happy with the new job in the least, but the old bruised ego is now recovering from not one but two job losses in a 4-month period. Not exactly feeling on top of my game these days, but I guess some periods in life are like that. I'm just such a control freak that I actually disillusion myself into thinking I should always be on top of everything.

The only good thing that's cropping up from losing the job is that I am finally allowing myself to do things that make me happy, not just money. The money with Dynavox would have been terrific but is it worth crying every day from stress? I, along with my husband Bryon, can assure you it is not. So I've been writing more often these days and it's starting to make me feel a lot better. It's something I have always been good at but always told myself it wasn't a practical job. Now I don't care anymore, I just want to be happy and the bills will get paid somehow.

So I joined a children's literature writing program where I will get mentored through a publication process to have both a magazine and a book publication at the end. I'm really excited about it; I submitted a test sample to this group about 3 years ago and they've been bugging me ever since to do their program. I guess they liked my sample...I wrote a true story called "Pest Control". For those of you who know me I think you know the story but the basic gist is when I was about 9 or 10 years old my mom got mad at me for hurting my little brother by accident and she called me a pest. I went through the whole school day with the word "pest" echoing through my head only to come home to find a "Pest Control" car in the driveway, which sent me running into the house promising that I would never be a pest again.

I'm also applying for jobs other than straightforward sales or teaching. One position in particular is for Planned Parenthood; they need a Teen Pregnancy Program Manager and I would love to be it. They closed the app process on Sunday and I haven't heard anything after submitting a resume and cover letter, so we'll see. I also decided to join the LA Unified School District sub list - their day rate is excellent and it would be a great way to get some teaching time (and money, ha ha) without dealing with the bureaucracy of meetings, etc. I've applied to various other positions as well, like a trade show coordinator, and an infant behavioral specialist, but after my horrible experience with Dynavox, I'm trying to be a little pickier about what I take.

The job I really want is motherhood, but Bryon's trying his best to fight me off with the stick of reason. And I know he's right. But my poor body is just screaming for it. And while I am so joyful to see all my friends and family start to have babies (the amount of people that I know who have given birth or who are about to give birth this year is just too long to list), it is getting harder and harder to see it happening all around me and still have to wait. I feel like I have been waiting forever! Having a baby is something I have wanted since I was a child, so every month now feels like a struggle. We'll see how long Bryon can fight me off :).

Thanks for reading! :) I'll try to be better about posting on a regular basis.

What Color Flame Are You?

Fun Quiz: http://www.quiztron.com/tests/color_flame_quiz_7159.htm

My results:
Blue fire: the hardest to make. You have one beautiful personality. Be proud.

I love this picture - like a beautiful butterfly! The blue is very calming and I could use that today - it is officially 4 weeks until my wedding! The nerves have definitely caught up with my fiance Bryon and me. Our main obstacle right now is getting a final head count so we can finish with important details like seating, caterer, favors, etc. We leave for Chicago three weeks from tomorrow so even though we officially have four weeks, it's really more like three. Jebus!

The Face of Age

If you have about 5-10 minutes, go to this website to view some people whose lives have spanned across 3 centuries: http://www.markstoryphotography.com/tns.php.

Immigration

OK...these thoughts have been on my mind all week and I've been avoiding writing them down because I had a feeling they would be long-winded. And of course they are. But I feel like I have some second-hand experience with the immigration issue that is important to share. Not to mention that I am somewhat relieved that the bill didn't pass and wanted to write about why I don't support amnesty, which I am sort of surprised to find that out about myself. But I did a lot of thinking about my experience and how and why it led me to where I am now, and as usual, reflection always makes everything more clear.

I moved to Los Angeles in June 2000 literally days after graduating from college up in Eugene, Oregon. Talk about culture shock - it took months if not years for me to adjust and I still feel like a part of me has never completely learned to feel at home here. Eugene at the time had a population of about half a million, and L.A. at the time had about 9 million (I think it's hovering close to 11 million now). Eugene had a significant Hispanic population; I don't know exact figures but the point for the sake of this topic is that it wasn't as though I hadn't had any experience with that demographic. I always loved languages, mostly because to me they are like a puzzle or a code to what someone else is saying and I'm all about communication. I studied Spanish as my minor and with that came a lot of education about Hispanic culture. I read a lot of Hispanic literature, both fiction and poetry, and I loved learning about it. I couldn't wait to get to Los Angeles to apply my new found knowledge.

What I found when I got here still has me reeling. I had the unique experience of teaching grade school for LA Unified School District (2nd largest district in the U.S. with 690 schools). The school was in northeast LA and that experience was my window into the world of both legal and illegal immigration and how it affected my students and even me. I never figured it would affect me but I realize now how much it did.

The school I taught at was 99% Hispanic, so obviously the kids were pretty much all either legal or illegal immigrants, or descendants of such. There was a decent-sized group of families who were very supportive, very aware of the obstacles their child faced (whether or not they spoke English did not affect their awareness), and very dedicated to making sure their child did they best they could with what they got. I usually got about 4-5 kids in my classes with parents like that. These were the kids who would come running up to me to tell about about their dad's promotion to manager of a Taco Bell and it brought tears to your eyes because you knew the family had just worked their tails off to get there and this meant better money for them. These kids showed up to school on time, ready to learn, whether they spoke English or not. The parents came to conferences, whether they spoke English or not, and even if both parents worked and you could tell they were just busier than hell, they still stepped up to the plate for their kids. God, if there is one, bless them. Some of them were probably illegal, and some were probably legal. The point is that they TRIED.

Then there was another, unfortunately much larger group of families who were, in two words, frustratingly uncooperative. I'm sure some were legal and some weren't. But the point is, these people did NOT try and it showed in themselves and in their children. Their kids missed a lot of school. Planning a birthday party would be given as a legitimate excuse for missing days of school. I had a teen-aged sister show up for conferences, etc. not once but repeatedly posing as one of my 3rd grader's mother. These students would almost never do their homework (which was ridiculously easy to ensure they would not need help - I gave homework for the responsibility of it) and they would lie about why they couldn't do it. Parents would either support the lie or supply it themselves. One time I was told the family couldn't afford pencils and the child had left hers at school (yet the child had $65 sneakers on and I knew for a fact that they had a Sony PlayStation at home - can't afford pencils? Come on...). In short I was lied to on a regular basis by both students and parents. Yet when the children didn't learn, guess who got blamed by both parents and administration. The governor was considering merit-based pay and with the onset of No Child Left Behind it seemed like the new sport was to blame teachers for not teaching properly. Meddling in the classroom became a regular practice by the administration and our union did not protect us they way they were supposed to.

Not speaking English was one of the biggest excuses for just about any problem the parents had. It was sort of difficult for me to understand that problem when I looked around and saw nothing and no one but Spanish speaking. Due to my continuing education towards my teaching credential, I as a teacher was made aware of community classes and the like for parents to take to learn English and job skills so I could pass this information onto the parents. These classes were FREE and offered at all hours of every single day including the weekends to accommodate odd schedules. Daycare was either provided or parents could bring their kids. I know that there were a lot of people who legitimately could not make it to those classes due to work schedules. But I also know of a lot that could and just didn't and the only explanation I can think of is that their surroundings made it far too easy to stay, figuratively and literally, where they were. Spanish legal help is available all over the place. Spanish forms, Spanish TV, Spanish radio, newspapers, billboards - how much easier it seemed to be for them to stay in their comfort zone than learn the new language.

I can relate to this comfort zone availability a little bit due to the month I spent in Costa Rica during my last year of college. There were American restaurants all over the place and a lot of people, especially in San Jose, the capital, spoke English. If I went to McDonald's, I knew I could order in English if I absolutely had to. But I didn't. I probably screwed up the phrasing of the order half the time and yeah, I probably slowed the line down a little a few times. But the cashiers would smile and always be encouraging because they could tell I was trying. Some would laugh at me, but who cares? Learning anything new hurts a little; it's your body and your brain making extra room for new knowledge :).

So what I was noticing during my years at this school was that too many families didn't seem to care if they assimilated to our country or not. They definitely didn't care if their child learned to read or made normal progress in school. They basically wanted to live in the U.S. as though it were Mexico. So many times I was told that these were cultural differences in the emphasis placed on education and I should be understanding. Yet that understanding did not extend both ways when it came to standardized testing results and other progress markers as we teachers got told again and again to "try harder, put more emphasis on the individual child, do more, more, more". Week after week we would sit in meetings sharing new approaches and collaborating on how to help these kids more. But these children simply were not progressing as much as they could have been, no matter how much their teachers turned themselves inside out. And by no means were all the teachers white; it was probably close to half and half if not more Hispanic teachers. All the teachers were fantastic role models, but how much more so the Hispanic teachers due to the population we were teaching. These teachers were proving that assimilating in the U.S. could be done without losing their culture, which they certainly did not - they took responsibility for maintaining their Hispanic culture while assimilating enough to ours to be an effective citizen.

There were definitely a lot of factors within the school and district system that could hinder children's progress and I could probably lose myself in describing all of them but I'll avoid that pitfall for now. Suffice to say that without proper materials, a job won't be well done. But the teachers really did the best they could, at least the majority of them. There was, to be fair, always a small percentage of those were showing up for a paycheck, loving the job security of teaching. OK, so LA Unified sort of needs to get their s**t together, and that definitely put some obstacles in the students' way.

But the reason I'm convinced that the problem was more parental than anything was because there were the ones that DID learn, and they learned because their parents showed them that they EXPECTED them to learn. The parents did not have to speak English or even be able to read or write themselves. They just needed to know how important education was - that was enough of a message to their children. As I said earlier, bless them. The other parents made it clear that they thought it was our job, not theirs, to teach their children. And they made that so very difficult, both because of the lack of a simple message to their children that their education was important and because of their inaction. Why should a child care what their teacher says if their parents will later nullify it, whether through lack of action or whatever? If I as a teacher say that a student has to do homework and the student doesn't do it, I can extend consequences and hope that gets through to the child. But imagine how much more powerful a triangular effect is when parents and teachers are on the same page about the issue? If the child receives similar consequences about not doing their job as a student both from home and from school, it drives the message that education is important and we, united as teachers and parents, care about the student too much to let them not do the work.

If Mexico and the U.S. put different emphases on education, that's fine. But obviously people are unhappy with the conditions in Mexico. So they come here to the U.S. because they want things to be better and they want to be a U.S. citizen. That's great - if that's really the case. But I was left with the impression far too many times that it wasn't the U.S. citizenship that was important to them, it was only the freebies and the ways that being here could benefit them that mattered. Far too many people seemed to have NO desire whatsoever to assimilate.

Here's a perfect anecdote for this lack of desire to assimilate. Every year in mid September we would have a little festival for Dia de los Muertos, which is a mourning holiday. One year it happened to fall on the day of the 1st anniversary of 9/11. My 3rd graders, along with another class, had worked hard painting segments of a huge American flag that was big enough to hang on the outside classroom wall. I wanted to leave it up for the festival. The parents outvoted me and a MEXICAN flag was flown at the festival that day. Yes, we were in Los Angeles, California, United States of America - and I was outvoted on flying our country's flag. I didn't want to replace the Mexican flag, I simply wanted to have both up and I was not allowed to do so.

I'm no outspoken patriot, OK? I love my country but you won't catch me humming "My Country Tis of Thee". But this was it for me. I didn't know it at the time but I think a part of me really threw in the mental towel that day as far as my teaching career was concerned. I found myself tiring of the daily homework and learning battle that I was engaged in. I noticed my patience in the classroom was slithering away a little more with each battle-filled day. Not only that but being a single person in Los Angeles on a teacher's salary just was not cutting the financial mustard. When I was offered a position as a sales rep for an educational sales company, I admittedly sold out.

So now there's this huge debate about what to do with the illegal immigrants. They're here, Time magazine says, so we should just accept that. Anything else would be bad for our economy. Is this seriously the same group of people that 10 or 15 years ago was warning about our borders being too lax and how it would negatively affect our economy? The immigration issue is obviously a financial issue but those in support of the bill seemed to be using the guise of humanity and caring about people as a cover. The Time magazine article referred to stories of deportation and families separating if the bill does not pass. I'm not saying I don't see the human side - in fact I very much do and it breaks my heart because I know all too well how very real it is. Sometimes my students would come to school and say that Daddy had to go back to Mexico or an uncle was trying to make it over and he either got caught or was trying to come legitimately and didn't make it. Nobody has to show me the human side of this issue; I saw it every day for three years.

But what I'm furious about is the way the people who support the illegal immigration bill are manipulating the situation not only to their advantage but to make them look like good guys when all they want to do is save money on jobs they say no American wants to do. The only reason no American wants to do those jobs anymore is because they USED to be decent paying jobs, but thanks to the ingress of illegal immigrants who were willing to do the job for far less money, they drove the value of the work down. People got used to paying those slave wages and now they're comfortable with it and don't want things to change. So of course it is so easy to say, "oh, they're already here, just let them stay; it's easier and cheaper than deporting them, they're taking over our society anyway". Would they say the same thing about cancer? "Oh, it's already here, it would be too expensive and troublesome to try to get rid of it and it probably won't work anyway". I don't think so. I don't mean to imply anything negative about any individual immigrant, but when a group of people come into a country, take advantage of benefits without giving back to society, and complain when they're not allowed to act like they're in their homeland, that seems sort of cancerous to me, especially when the numbers of people who do that are increasingly rapidly.

Other people will play the race card - "oh, you just don't like Hispanic people". Sigh. OK, I'll address that issue, simply because it just couldn't be further from the truth. One of my best friends is Mexican. She couldn't be a more wonderful person. The immigration issue isn't necessarily about Hispanic people; if any cultural group were coming to this country illegally in droves and not giving back I'd be saying the same thing. The truth is that we don't hear about problems with other groups of cultures who immigrate here because they come here legally and they give back to society - so there's nothing to complain about. Keep in mind that my entire argument in this little rant is about those who come here illegally.

When people say that the illegal immigrants are already here and that they are so deeply entrenched in our system that there's nothing we can do about it, it is a serious societal cop-out. Obviously we have a large weakness in our immigration system that is being taken advantage of to a laughable extent. Rather than find the leak at the bottom of the boat, we're just stuffing the leak full of illegal immigrants (pardon my crude imagery), and hoping nobody notices that the boat is about to burst.

I wonder what legal immigrants think about all of this. If I had come here legally, I'd be pretty upset that something I had worked incredibly hard for was obtained illegally by another. If I wanted to move to Canada to take advantage of their national health plan, or to move to any other country for that matter, I would have to pay and go through all the legal proceedings. To deliver amnesty to those who got here illegally is simply rewarding criminals and insulting those who toed the line (and paid for it too). It's also accepting a fatal flaw in our system. It is NOT okay to say that they're already here and we should just accept that. We have a responsibility to ourselves and to our country to re-establish the integrity of our immigration system and to figure out a solution that benefits those who are law-abiding and not the other way around.

Please post any comments or opinions, and thanks for reading!

A Chatterbox Gives Voice

I'm being considered for a sales position with this company: http://www.dynavox.com/. I suppose it would be ironic if I accepted a sales position for them - those of you who know me know I'm a complete chatty Cathy. How very befitting it might be if I gave voice to those children who didn't have one. Then again, their parents may very well end up suing me ("It wasn't supposed to work THAT well; she won't shut up!"). But in all seriousness, it looks like a really cool company and product line, but as far as the job goes, I'll see after the phone interview tomorrow, I suppose. I've learned the hard way to be skeptical about sales.


At any rate, take a moment to click on that website to see some really cool new ways that special needs people are being given to communicate more independently (or at all).

Happy Birthday to Me

Well, it's my 31st birthday today and I'm glad to say there's not much excitement to this particular age. To make sure I started this year right, Milo was kind enough to help me start my new year by waking me with a brisk face licking. Thank you, Milo.

Bryon and I don't have much planned for today - it's Father's Day and the crowds at anything fun will be overwhelming. We might try to go bowling in Studio City depending on how crowded it is. But we are going out to dinner to one of my favorite restaurants, La Frite on Ventura. It's a tiny little French cafe; you'd barely notice the place on the street, but they make the best baked brie I've ever had, and their carrot cake is unbelievable.

Kinda wish I were home in Chicago today...my birthday falls on Father's Day every so often and it's been a while since I saw my dad for FD. What can I say - I miss the old man. I was thinking of trying to come home but the plane fare was just too much. I also feel like I need to get out of LA for a few days since I lost my job - my office was at home so it's really hard to to just forget about. I've been applying and job searching like a maniac but so far the only jobs I'm being offered are for financial sales positions - no thanks and yawn. I might be able to sell an educational resource (and even those skills are apparently questionable) but there's no way I'll make it as an life insurance enthusiast!

Happy Father's Day to any dads I've got out there...you know who you are ;)

The Loquacious Milo & Sophie

Meet my two cats Milo (orange tabby, 3 yrs) and Sophie (tabico, 4 yrs). Don't let this image of seemingly cozy cameraderie fool you - this is merely a lucky photo op milli-second while they were playing. Mind you, Milo's version of "playing" seems to involve simply attacking Sophie, establishing that he's in charge by pinning her down, and then literally rubbing her face in his behind. Despite the fact that he's the younger and more recent addition to the family, she allows this and merely offers a continuous low-growl, sing-song whine as protest.

As my sister put it during her last visit, both of my cats just have a lot to say and neither has any qualms about saying any of it. You go, kitties; I understand completely. In fact, due to both of them being so verbose, I'm convinced that despite all evolutionary proclamations, they are related to me on some deeply genetic level. Anyway, Sophie is squat and sedentary but is one of the most amazing (and fastest) bug-trappers I've ever seen. This is probably due to her unfortunate feral beginnings, when catching bugs meant staying alive for her. She doesn't make many swats, but when she does, she swats to kill and does so! She usually acts needy but also has a quiet strength about her sometimes that surprises me.

Back in grade school it seemed like there was always a really mean redheaded bully who messed with everybody for no good reason but couldn't take what he dished. For those of you who have seen it, think of the bully in "A Christmas Story".(*Author's Note: Those of you redheads out there, please don't be offended by this reference. If you read any Tom Robbins you will quickly learn that it's quite possible redheads contain special, supernatural powers. Here's a link to distract you: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red_hair#Mythological_traditions).

OK, back to the mean redheaded bully - that sums up Milo. He's the biggest mama's boy you ever saw and more afraid of the outdoors and our outer hallway than even timid Sophie is. But he bullies her like no one's business. If she settles down on a cat-scratcher box, he will come tackle her and uproot her. If she's lying on the bed, he'll jump up and literally edge her off the bed. If she's playing with a toy (even if we have duplicates of it) he has to steal it away from her. He whines like a toddler when he wakes up from a nap, and he announces his awakening with a cranky and lengthy meow as if to say, "I'm awake, pay attention to me!" He'll keep doing this until you acknowledge his presence by saying hello to him. In short, and pardon my French, he's a bit of an asshole.

But they're both hilarious and I've been told by a few people that my cats act more like dogs than some dogs do. I figure this is good since we're only allowed two pets in our building and we ("we" meaning my fiance Bryon and I) are both craving a dog. So far the cats don't respond well to the leash but at least we've taught them to speak!

Writer's Block Bulldozing

Welcome to my blog! I really never thought I would do this, but my stepmom just started one and inspired me to do the same. I'm a writer who doesn't write, and it's time to plow through the massive writer's block that's been lodged in me since I stopped writing in early high school. When I was a kid I used to write so much that my various parents had to struggle to get me off the computer, and now I can't even seem to keep a personal journal for myself. So I'm starting this blog in hopes of reminding myself that I can do this :).